Falling apart is part of our experience on our journey. Through our hopeless feeling comes the lesson to be learned. It is understandable that sometimes moms like me feel hopeless even in this crazy time of reopening. What we need to remember is that there is no known act we’re supposed to do in order release any hopelessness. Just because we’re falling apart doesn’t mean we are falling off track. Falling apart is a way for us to become aware that we are going to learn something about our self.

Awareness

Once this awareness shows up, here comes your lesson. No need to fret but be open to its message. When we feel hopeless, we take a chance and accept it rather than fight it. For example, when we have that hopelessness feeling come up, we need to realize that we can’t change the circumstances or do something to take us out of this feeling. We need to see that our practice is to stay in the feeling because it will show us a lesson.

The true action to take is to actually live in the space of hopelessness. When we allow our heart to live in the space, we live in it as our experience because we are a witness to the perfection of who you truly are. Now here comes the shift. Because we are all perfection, the shift is that hopelessness isn’t separate. Since we are the perfection in the universe experiencing this feeling of hopelessness, we are actually just the one experiencing the feeling. I’m not hopeless. It is just an experience!

The Shift

When I realized that it was just a feeling and not a state of which I was, the shift happened. This was something for me to feel and not become. At that moment, I felt unstuck. As I reminded myself that I’m allowed to feel hopeless, the space opened up. We become the observer so now the sadness or depression can be seen as an experience and not taking it on as something holding me down.

During my adult married life, I had an expectation somewhat of a Norman Rockwell family accepting the new married member into the new family. Because I fought so hard to be accepted when there was no acceptance, I created my stuck feeling. I thought I was hopeless rather than only feeling hopelessness. Once I accepted in my heart that this wasn’t going to be what I hoped, I could let the expectation drop and live in the hopeless feeling. As I lived in that feeling, I became aware that I was putting myself in this stuck place. When the shift happened for me, I learned to verbally say it out loud. As I heard the words, it couldn’t hold me down anymore.

Letting Go Factor

Since I was allowing these feelings to exist in my body, they actually left as soon as they were seen. There is the letting-go factor. Once we allow these feelings and don’t judge them, they help us become aware that they just help usher in the lesson. Now the feelings are letting go of me and releasing.

I learned to allow myself to become unstuck by entering or creating a safe place in nature. By going into nature for a weekend or just the day such as walking, sitting by a lake, or spending time at a cabin, it is the universe’s medicine for us to calm our body and mind. Realizing I was safe to verbalize feelings that I kept hidden inside was the shift out of hopelessness and betrayal.

Boundaries for Betrayal

As I learned in Caroline Myss’s video on Oprah’s show, I was just as bad as the people who betrayed me if I kept myself stuck. By creating boundaries to keep me safe from those who took fun in manipulating me, I was showing my worth by sticking up for me. Boundaries are good. If you don’t care for yourself as much as you want others to care for you, you will continue to experience betrayal. Once I was aware of this like hopelessness, I was free from feeling stuck.

A way to work through this is to simply breathe into these feelings of betrayal and living in it. It isn’t easy and there will be tears however, you become aware of the motive and actions of others. Without confrontation, we simply change the space by sending love to them through a prayer. This will help you settle into loving yourself and putting you first.

When You’re Ready

One lesson I’m constantly reviewing is not condemning me for not learning my lessons earlier. My head would say over and over, “How come you didn’t learn this earlier? Look how old you are?” But the truth is we learn our lessons when we’re ready. I’m coming to these conclusions now because this is when I was supposed to learn. We are all on our own journey and we each have experiences to go through around our own time table.

Rest assured, as you allow yourself to live within these feelings, they will release what no longer serves you. Get into nature, allow the feelings to live within, and start enjoying the release as you move forward.

*Photo by Susan Schwartz