I can tell you why I did. My writing started when I began to heal from some horrible crap flung on me from some original family members. By writing down my feelings and thoughts, I could change my mindset.

Once the words hit the paper, they became power for me; not to go against anyone, but to feel self-confident that I had a voice. I believe many writers may have started this way.

Adversity Creates Great Writing

When a false statement and lie or post is put online on a social media platform, it brings out those who love the gossip to begin the destruction. It’s bad enough to see that others believe the lie. But when they begin adding their cruel and disgusting statements that would make any grown man cry, it’s enough to put one into their full healing journey.

If you’re one who grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other, you grew up feeling somewhat loved. Because of the tight-knit living in a small area, we all seem to look past each other’s faults and search for the good. However, sometimes one, who is an extraordinary manipulator, begins enjoying their negativity they unleash. The sadness comes when all these beautiful souls that you once thought were kind also pile on to the online bullying.

Writing Helps Us Understand More

While writing my feelings down, I began to look deeper. Why was I feeling this way and where were these sad emotions coming from? That’s the point when I seemed to walk into another world. Everything seemed to open up for me making me feel that I had a place to see my hurt and let it all out.

After living through the insults lashed out, from the horrible untrue statement, I began to look at those involved and seeing that they were lashing out because of their own hurt. That’s when I truly understood: Hurt people hurt people.

Writing Shows Your True Passion

Because I discovered something new in me, I wanted to share it so others could be helped. And that’s where my passion stepped in. My true passion is to help others who are on a similar journey as me and share my experiences. What a feeling when you go through such a life-altering event. First you can’t trust anyone seeing how they do not care followed by trusting yourself.  

Adversity is a Lesson for Healing

This post wreaked havoc shattering my pink colored glasses and changing how I live. I’m not going to lie; it was as big a shift for me. You have to deal with so many new things that you actually begin to relax and learn to take on one thing at a time. That’s where I learned to love me. From there on, I learned what true self-love was truly for me.

At that instance, I began to see others’ true hurt whenever they would lash out. I learned that so many of us are hiding behind our rock of strength afraid to peek out. When some wouldn’t reply the way I expected, I could see that they didn’t understand how to apologize or look at their own actions and hurt.

Expectations are Yours

Another ah-ha moment happened when I could see that a simple “sorry” was needed, but they wouldn’t even think of giving that out. This was another lesson on understanding that others weren’t ready to share their love because they were hurt.

After working on forgiving all the mean comments from those I thought had love for me, I was able to watch it all float away like a feather. The old hurt feeling sometimes comes up, but even when I reached out to state the truth years later, there were still hesitations of the other to lovingly step out of the ugliness and simply atone for their actions.

Take Time to Let Out Your Truth

Since this reach out was done several years later after a long time of silence on my end, I could truly see that there wasn’t any change on their part. They were still in the familiar.

Once the healing took place for me, my true passion of helping other moms raising athletes kicked in. I began writing all the lessons that helped me and turned it into sixteen chapters in my book of my lessons and my daughters’ adversity. As a mom, you see how much you learn from your children. Having my girls has taught me so many things I would have never figured out if not for them. www.amazon.com/0578909499      www.linktr.ee/pilarkellenbarger

Next, when my girls flew the nest, I began living in my new empty nest stage. While at first thinking it was great, the loneliness started creeping in. As I tried doing different activities and making mindset changes, I decided to help moms in that stage of life by using my writing.                         www.amazon.com/B0C9S7RHVD   www.linktr.ee/pilarkellenbarger

Using Self-Love

If you are someone going through something similar, turn off all the ways to see the ugliness and begin to show yourself love. Once you strengthen that muscle, everything begins to look different. But be aware, if you go back into their darkness with the truth, they may not react the way you expect.

While you state your authenticity, those still in the darkness will not react the way you think. By letting out your truth is one thing. However, wanting others, who are hurting, to see things like you will not happen. Be ready for more shattering expectations to leave. This is good because you are learning that the only one who needs to have a mindset change is you.

Now you’re ready to turn your journal writing into your passion. Who can you help? How can you help them? Enjoy the ride and I’ll see you in the #WritingCommunity!