As I listened to day 11 of the Chopra-Oprah free 21 day meditations, it made me have an ah-ha moment. He went on to state that we can take the tumultuous relationships in our life and use them to help us understand them better through appreciation. These relationships can teach us how to set clear boundaries, help open us with deeper self understanding of compassion, and direct our growth in ways in which we would not have chosen on our own.

First Way: Setting Boundaries

When we look at these distressing relationships, the best thing to learn is setting boundaries. None of us wake up and decide to start setting boundaries with all our relationships, yet the stormy ones remind us that we are the ones in control of our walls.

Like me, you may be experiencing situations and individuals who have created difficulties in your life. Because of their fierce actions put upon you, it becomes necessary to protect yourself. This is where setting boundaries helps keep the venom from tainting your life. For years I’ve had an in-law manipulate dinner parties by handing everyone a beautiful book except me. I’ve watched others open colorful scarves and adore their exciting play tickets while I stared at my safety-pin flag pin wondering what I did to deserve this.

Within my side of my family, I was told through a text hours later that my father passed. Even cousins that I lined up to let me know seemed to walk away from my requests. I’ve had to endure being told last minute of his hospitalizations and surgeries months before his death. No matter how turbulent your situation is, be sure to give yourself permission to set your boundaries. This gives you peace of mind as well as creates an environment of happiness and joy.

Second Way: Understanding True Compassion

By looking at these situations created by others, we can begin to understand true compassion which is the second way these uncomfortable relationships help us grow. Once the hurt subsides and we look at the situation and individuals for who they truly are, we can start using our grace and learn the true meaning of kindness. When we open our heart to these people, we can begin to see that their harsh reactions are coming from a misfortune they suffer from.

While we look for the reasons a person lashes out, it becomes clear that they are hurting. When this happens, we start feeling sympathy and sorrow for them. As we see the true reason for their actions, our sorrow and sympathy can be the path to show our compassion. We may want to alleviate their pain. By the way, this doesn’t have to happen in their presence. Simply saying a silent prayer acknowledging that they are acting out can redirect the harsh energy from them. Knowing that giving them a quiet form of grace can only help show them love and hopefully they can accept it and use it for their good.

Third Way: Learning New Growth Paths

As we find compassion, we learn many different ways to grow. It turns out that the unrestrained conduct of others actually helps us with our own growth. It guides us towards our path of learning new ways of growth in ways in which we would not have chosen for ourselves. We begin to see that all individuals in tumultuous relationships learn from any side. They learn that they have something to heal, and we learn new ways of healing as well. Because of the difficulties created by others, we learn how to stand up for ourselves in ways we’ve never known. But because we are experiencing these difficult situations, we learn that the only way through is love, self love, and sending love to others in prayer.

Uncomfortable Relationships Help Us Grow

Be aware that not all individuals in these agitated states will be opened to your prayers or even your set boundaries. They may create more drama because this may spark something even more uncomfortable on their end. While you set your boundaries, remind yourself that you are giving permission for this, and remember that you are worthy enough for this construction on your behalf.

Once we understand that uncomfortable relationships actually help us, we learn more about how to appreciate them. These situations and individuals who are creating these difficulties are actually helping us to grow. They are helping us move down paths of growth we may not have discovered on your own. Lucky for us, these uncomfortable relationships have moved us in the direction of growth. Not only will we learn to stick up for ourself with our new set boundaries, but we will be living in an environment of happiness and joy!

The websites below will help you grow.

Chopra Center Meditation https://chopracentermeditation.com/

Bill Eckstrom, Why Comfort Will Ruin You, Tedx Talk https://youtu.be/LBvHI1awWaI