Is Their Intention from Love or Fear?
Intention
Everything we do comes with an intention. Good or bad, that is what leads us and if we stop to think about it, it’s what guides others to do the things they do. If we look at intention of others, we can see where they are living from: love or fear. One of those qualities is what is guiding them through their intention. Their intention is being motivated by their love at that moment or their fear. How we respond to our intention and theirs is the key point to true peace.
Intention from Love or Fear
No one is excluded from someone hurting them. However, the way in which we respond is based on our knowledge of intention. Many may view someone’s actions as deceitful and it very well could be that was their intention. But once we pull back the covering of it, we can see its trueness. We all have been through a situation that occurred with us and a family member or close friend. Since it is an intention from someone in our life with expectation connected to them, the pain feels even worse. But as we step back and look at the situation without any of our expectations or history with this person, we’ll find that they are standing there before us with true love or fear. It’s the love or fear that they feel at that moment that guides their actions of intention.
Intention from the Master, Zukav
One amazing author, who uses his scientific knowledge along with his heart of a philosopher, Gary Zukav has stated in his book, The Seat of the Soul, “Every action, thought and feeling is motivated by an intention, and that intention is a cause that exists as one with an effect. If we participate in the cause, it is not possible for us not to participate in the effect. In this most profound way, we are held responsible for our every action, thought, and feeling, which is to say, for our every intention. We, ourselves, shall partake of the fruit of our every intention. It is, therefore, wise for us to become aware of the many intentions that inform our experience, to sort out which intentions produce which effects, and to choose our intentions according to the effects that we desire to produce.”
Seeing the Truth of Someone’s Intention
As we think back in order to see and learn from past hiccups, someone may have hurt us with their actions, but once we look at it with none of our emotions connected to it, we can see that they were acting out of their fear. When we have experienced positive moments with people, we can see that their intention was love. It is clear that we should not let someone’s fear based intentions occur more than necessary because of who they are in our lives. We have an absolute right to speak from our heart, say out loud that we no longer want to be involved in their fear based intentioned actions, and set up our boundary fence right in front of them.
Examples of Fear Based Intention
We all have experienced fear based and love based intentions from family members. One that comes to mind is years of fear-based intentions directed toward me wrapped in excuses and lies.
Fearing an Imperfect Family Tree
For years, an in-law would hand me the ‘Charlie Brown’ of Christmas presents to me at each dinner they were in control of at that holiday. After many conversations and one-one-one discussions about the sadness I felt when receiving the older sophisticated woman’s apparel, year after year it was presented to me with excitement on their end to view my dislike and embarrassment. My voice was not heard. Their intention was to hurt me because they feared me. They didn’t like that I would be the family matriarch one day and that wasn’t how they saw their family tree.
Because they were spiraling in their fear of how they saw the future of their family, they continued to live by their intention based on their fear. Once they were confronted by other family members, their authentic power was seen and they had nowhere to hide at that moment. People who live by these intentions can continue on this path for such a long time because of the lies they tell themselves. They can wrap their sad and defeated selves in the blanket of their excuses which have them think that they are doing the right thing. What someone in this position doesn’t realize is that not all people live in the same level of drama that they do. Those of us who have practiced to see others’ fear based intentions and not react in a combative way realize that the other is hurting and spiraling in their own hurts and fears.
Fearing Pain of Losing a Family Member
Another experience with a family member was not being contacted about the death of my father. It was many hours after the fact when I found out with a text. Everyone dreads the day they are told this information and no one ever wants it in a text. Although that hurt was very extreme when it happened, I can now see how this person’s intentions were fear based. Because of the stories this person had swirling around in their head of times they were hurt, they set their intention based on their discomfort. Since their fear of losing their family member as well, they could only react with the fear based intention.
Reasons for the Use of Fear Based Intentions
It was a huge reminder to me that life is not perfect and neither is the people living in it. However, I can help myself understand that this was out of my hands and more importantly supposed to happen that way. Not because God or the Universe was against me, but because it actually has my back. Because of that horrible event unraveling in that fashion, I learned about intentions. It now helps me in my daily life of teaching youngsters and living my best self.
The reason why they continue to live by fear based intentions is because they are either of the narcissistic group that thinks they are always right or they haven’t seen the true hurt they cause someone else and want to repent to become a better person. It doesn’t matter how much we see it, if they don’t, it won’t change until they realize their actions and change it themselves. This idea may upset some of us on the receiving end of these intentions, however we must always go back to the truth that we are only in control of ourselves and that others must learn their lessons on their timeline.
Helping Those with Fear Based Intentions
A way to help these people who continue to act in this way is by simply offering love. Just by speaking silently and sending it from our heart to theirs, we can help them realize and change. If they don’t change even when we ask them to, we need to understand that there are still lessons they need to learn in order to move on from fear based intentions to intentions based on love. Some have a habit of wanting to stay in the negativity that they learned as a younger self. It is a safe place for them and very familiar. However, by sending your love from your heart to theirs, they may one day take the step they need in order to change.
It may take time for someone to come to the realization that their actions are wrong and not them as a whole. Because some don’t want to admit that they can be wrong, it will take them a longer time to understand. They may also never understand in this lifetime and that’s ok too. This is where we can practice using our voice, learn to set our boundaries, and authorize our heart to send our love out to help others.