It’s now that time of year where you start seeing the Christmas/Hanukkah ads on television even though we have yet to stuff ourselves with turkey!

How to Maneuver Through the Holidays

It is the most wonderful time of the year. However, if you’re a new empty nester who has children in college, it can become very tricky on how to maneuver through the holidays.

In my book, Becoming an Empty Nester, I share my experiences in this stage of life to help moms prepare for the change in their traditions. My first tip is to take a deep breath while realizing that your holiday traditions are going to look a little different. Now is the time to see that your original job and duties of mother are going to shift. You are now stepping into the friend waters.

Letting Go of the Way Things Were

Since our children are adults as they move forward in college, they have their own ideas, wants and needs during the holidays. They may be too far away to come home for Thanksgiving, so now that will be handled different at home. As they meet new friends, they may want to share some of their time with a new friend during the Christmas/Hanukkah holidays. With Hanukkah beginning on Christmas Day this year, if they meet a friend, they want to share that holiday with, it will be time to learn compromise.

I have several chapters that can help you during this time of year. In Chapter 13, How to Maneuver Through the Holidays, I share tips and ideas on how to begin with a different attitude as you start your to-do and grocery list. It is in Part One~ Letting Go and Be Kind to You. In order to save your heart from some sadness, communicate in an opened manner before the holidays. Ask if they are celebrating with you in an invitation that comes with asking them what things they had in mind. This takes away any uncomfortable feeling they may have of approaching you with their ideas. Through this conversation, they will be willing and open to sharing their ideas with you. At this point it is smart to take it in and respond later.

Creating New Traditions

Getting accustomed to the new holidays will be helpful for your heart. By asking them what traditions they want will add to their holiday traditions that they loved. This will get them to think back at their fun times with you. But it is a wonderful time to see what they hold dear. I have found that the baking, having special dinners, and watching certain movies together is what they really wanted. You will find that things may be a little different. Ultimately, you will be creating special new moments that will be just as fabulous as your other traditions.

Learning to Becoming a Better Parent

Another helpful chapter will be in Part Two~ Recalling Your Favorites, Chapter 16, Become a Better Parent. If we think back to our younger years, we wanted to be treated like an adult and not like a kid when we were beginning college. Although they still look to us for financial help, they want to start practicing making decisions for themselves. Having this new grown version of our kids in our head is the answer to the solution of being a better parent.

Mindset is a powerful aspect. The more you practice seeing your children for the age they are, the more you will treat them as such. Take it from someone who has been there; it really is a wonderful feeling to have independent, hardworking, adult children that became this way because of your way of thinking.

Send Your Love

One last chapter that can help is in the same Part Two, Chapter 19, Make Care Packages for the Holidays. Most college students will have final exams right before they head home for the holidays. Be that fun mom you used to be and send a note and some great snacks. They will appreciate them during those long study sessions. By putting a favorite warm scarf or coffee gift card will help connect to them the way you did when they were under the same roof.

Know that this book was written with love to help support you at this new stage of your life. I wish you a beautiful holiday season with many of your old traditions mixed with some new ones.