Don’t you just love those ah ha moments? While living with thoughts that I knew were true, I realized where they actually come from and had the deer in the headlights. I was so amazed in that moment that I actually caught myself in an open mouth stare.

Observation Brings Lessons

When realizing discovery and healing are different and both take time, it was a great eye opener. Sometimes someone’s behavior makes you question your own. When this happens, don’t be down on yourself. Immediately go into a positive response in your mind and prepare yourself in a kind way for the lesson. If we think about each response we have towards anyone’s behavior toward us, it is always a lesson. By stepping back and acknowledging a lesson is coming, it is a practice of avoiding the hurt process that we sometimes do to ourselves. Looking at the situation as a bystander shows us that we all act in a certain way and if someone’s negative behavior is constant, we can observe and find ways for us to escape. When I say escape, I’m not saying we’re kidnapped or being held against our will; it is a perfect time to connect understanding to the behaviors.

Discovery Opens Our Eyes

Discovery is an amazing thing. I can recall thinking, “How did I not see this before?” The most likely reason for making the discovery is because you never wanted to see the other person in a different manner. Any person’s behavior whether positive or negative is something we become accustomed to so we don’t really start analyzing. Why should we? We aren’t threatened by it. However, when the discovery hits you in the face, take time to sit in it. There’s no reason to wipe any slate clean, to change any living environment, nor any reason to throw gas on it and light it up. Simply sit in it and look for the lesson.

When we sit in a calm manner waiting for the lesson to appear, it really is a wonderful feeling. I think that once you can put a description to the behavior, you can begin to read up on it. There’s your lesson. The lesson is having you read up on knowledge you didn’t have. But like they say, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Learn for your own knowledge. It isn’t your place to start an attack on the person who is directing their poor behavior on you. Putting the word understanding in the forefront of your thoughts will help immensely.

Healing Begins to Calm Our Heart

None of us are perfect people. Not only does this observation and research help us understand where someone is coming from, but now we can look at ourselves. That’s when the discovery moves into healing. How are we behaving in the same manner in our lives? If we have similar behaviors, why am I acting this way? Could trauma from my past be something that triggers this person’s behavior and mine? What are some positive steps I can take to learn better behavior? Am I engaging in a responsible way? Can I create a meaningful boundary to make me feel safe? Are there thoughts and actions I can learn to practice when I find myself in this behavior? All these questions can help you move through your healing and realization.

The following video by Kyle Cease, “You’re Always on Track, No Matter What”, reminded me that no matter what is happening or what lesson I’m in, I’m always on purpose. It doesn’t matter what lesson I’m learning, my purpose is still ongoing. It never stops and it never leaves. We may put it aside, but our spirit always has a purpose.

We’re Always on Purpose

Witnessing behaviors of others is a constant. Not only did the pandemic close up our minds for a time, but it provided time for some to deal with the thoughts that came up at that time whether they were dealt with or not. Now that we see we discovered something new, we can learn and use that knowledge to make ourselves better. That really is the only reason why this is all happening. Nothing is against you, nothing is trying to hurt you, and rather these discoveries are occurring to make you a better person. Once we take the victimhood out of our thoughts, we strive and fly.

Sit in your thoughts, read all the information you can, look for the areas where you can place this knowledge to help you become a better individual and lastly celebrate your healing. You’re doing it!