Have you ever let the voices inside your head get the better of you? Do you wonder why you head right to the negative talk when things don’t go your way? Are you someone who sees it coming and try to avoid that path, yet still feel those spiraling feelings?

Spiraling is Part of the Process

Take a breath, exhale and remind yourself those spiraling feelings are there to help you release. I remember spending a whole day reading, researching, and taking notes to prepare myself for a potential opportunity to advertise myself and my book, Becoming an Empty Nester. After two years of doing the hustle selling books at events and using social media, I thought I was finally being given my reward. Isn’t it funny that we don’t always see that the journey is the reward?

The Spiral Begins

Because of scheduling difficulties, my opportunity I was looking forward to never happened which crushed me in a way that surprised me. I thought, “Why am I letting this affect me like this?” As it was unfolding in the opposite way I wanted, I recall that feeling of ‘oh no, I feel that big wave coming.’ Even though I was completely aware of my surroundings along with my feelings, it was taking that long slide trip similar to the one the kids slid down in Polar Express. However, because of the work in the past, I just kept sliding down because I knew what would happen if I halted.

We have to remember that all the work we do on ourselves is for precisely these spiraling moments. Our past lessons teach us that when we see ourselves sliding down in sadness, unworthiness, feelings of not amounting to anything, we need to stay on the slide and feel all the feelings and emotions that come up.

The Spiral Helps Release Your Emotions

By halting and putting those feelings somewhere else, I know is not a good choice since I’ve experienced them coming back up harder and stronger. Because we experienced trauma as a kid or young adult, we did quickly set those feelings aside in order to stay in our survival mode. Since we didn’t know at the time what to do with them, they seemed scary, and we avoided them at all costs. But now after doing the hard work, we can use our awareness to actually help us get through the spiral.

Be Thankful for the Lesson

I’m so grateful to all those who have helped me learn that when something negative is happening or felt, it is merely a lesson presenting itself. It most certainly doesn’t remove the sore feelings, but it does help remind my heart that I am about to see some old traumas leave my thoughts.

They bubble up sometimes and look like a spiral wave out of control. It’s similar to the feeling of getting thumped by a wave and rolling head over heels as the wave has its way with you. But in the end when the wave subsides, we think about what we did wrong to put ourselves in that predicament and work on not doing that again so we can heal.

Spirals Release the Past Trauma

Since some of us submerged so many traumas as a kid to stay in survival mode, our new opportunities that have small hiccups make us feel the past feelings. Right away we go back those feelings of not being good enough if that’s what we were accustomed to hearing. Others’ unkind words seem to dart into our brains on a rewind mode playing their hurtful words over and over.  

Feeling Uncomfortable is Normal

How grateful am I to understand that going down the uncomfortable and scary slide is what needs to happen? No one wants to feel uncomfortable, but when you don’t fight it, the whole world begins to open up and make so much sense. I realized the old thoughts in my head needed to be worked on my tapping or speaking to that young version of myself.

Reminding myself that I no longer have to be scared by their words helps me tremendously. Also, knowing that by feeling them and releasing them by way of tears can help them let go of me. As I see that this survival mode of keeping these negative words no longer serves me, it is amazing how they seem to float away.

The Aftermath

Beware; there is still a balky and gloomy feeling that seems to linger for a small while. It’s similar to that exhausted feeling after doing a million and one chores in one day. However, rest assured your heart and mind seem to open the door letting in wonderfully positive feelings.

Mind you, it can feel like a trick to some of us new to this spiraling effect, however, it is the point that tells me all is well. I think of the lessons learned so that I might avoid another spiral on this same topic. Dealing with these spirals doesn’t make them go away for good. They merely help us to maneuver through the next ones.

Understanding the Process is Good for Us

Knowing what is actually happening when going through anything is half the battle. As I realize the wave of negative feelings is occurring, I can breathe and know to sit in the feelings so they can release. I know it sounds weird, but I literally thank these feelings and the survival mode technique that my mind used for so many years when I was younger to help me survive some terrible happenings. From there, I relax and rest as the slide levels off.

Recalling what the lesson was about is very helpful. Realizing that these past feelings are trying hard to release themselves is even more helpful. Getting back to a few favorite self-care and self-love activities are essential at this point. You are rewarding your good behavior so the next occurrence will go smoothly.

Celebrate Your New Positive Flow

It is up to us to allow these spirals to happen. To keep shoving these feelings we hide away will only create more extreme ones. Celebrate your spirals as a coming of age. At the heart of it all, you’re helping the negative feelings to be seen and released. Only good can come of this. Embrace the positive waves that surface and remind yourself not to run away from these anymore. You’re in good hands. God and the Universe got you!!