Trauma Comes in All Shapes and Sizes
Have you ever had one of those days where you think out loud, “Boy, this has certainly been a long week”, and you realize it’s Tuesday? I’m sure we’ve all had that happen. In my case, it was my early childhood trauma being unleashed once I opened the Pandora box at my counselor’s office. Because I need to learn new tools to communicate better with my husband, I decided to seek an expert.
Learning & Understanding Our Emotions
We all have the self help books and have tried with some success to learn our lessons and understand our emotions. However, I really recommend speaking to a professional when the moment comes to you. I said over and over that I can’t believe I didn’t do it earlier in my marriage, but sometimes we’re not in that space. If we’re not ready for it, it’s not going to be available. But be warned, healing is not for the faint hearted.
Healing Not for the Faint-Hearted
I mean that in the kindest way. Going to speak to a total stranger about the most important things in your life is very scary. The fear I felt was astronomical. However, it’s a fear that you walk slowly and calmly through. Once I finished my first session, I was hooked, yet now came all the traumas that were accumulated and stored in all my recesses.
From my point of view, it is the best thing that can happen along with the worst feeling. I learned so much even in my first few sessions. By looking back at old ways I coped as a child within a dysfunctional family setting, I noticed that I was using those same immature coping skills as an adult. It was time for me to learn new skills that work in my adult life.
You Will See Clearly
In addition, I can see clearly now. Sorry for putting that song phrase into your mind but that’s what can happen once you let out your feelings that you’ve been storing for years. If you have been storing them alongside all your fears, so much starts falling out of the box. As soon as I let out childhood situations and occurrences, there was such a release. I immediately felt lighter. It is a great feeling when those feelings and thoughts let go of us. That’s the big take away for me; we can’t let go of things, we have to feel them and let them let go of us. I learned that with Matt Kahn. (www.MattKahn.org ) He has such useful books and videos on YouTube that have been so helpful in my healing.
While going through a moment that felt so overwhelming, a big shift took place. As I cried, I called out for help. In my opinion, that is the best thing to do. The help I received from others who weren’t asked was incredible. The signs I saw from those who have passed made me feel so loved. I had friends send me a video they saw that they wanted to share not knowing I was at the bottom of my pit. The amazing hummingbirds, feathers, and hawks that came around at that time, I probably looked like Cinderella. Be sure to hold onto those moments. Those are not coincidences. They are the gifts you asked for when you were in dire need. Breathe, smile, and know in your heart that you will make it through.
Help is All Around
Lisa Marie Runfola’s latest podcast, What’s Not Being Said, was a fabulous talk with Kristen Boice which helped me understand myself even more. It gave me the realization that I wasn’t alone in this trauma also.
If you are noticing that those you’re having a problem with may have narcissistic traits, watch some of Dr. Ramani’s videos on YouTube. They are helpful to show reasons why people with these traits act. It is wonderful to start understanding your feelings.
