What Happens When Your Family Abandons You?
Do you feel like your family abandoned and turned their backs on you? Are you left out of your family with nothing but the weird memories? We see the Normal Rockwell painting and wonder, “Does anyone actually live like that?” More times than not there are people just like us who are living the same way. We read the memes about how much family means or watch someone heartbroken because their family member is missing or passed. We think, “Wow, how must that feel? My family is living, yet I haven’t seen or spoken to them in years.”
How We Think?
Those of us that live this way have the sadness inside from both; we miss our family, but even though they are still among the living, we’re rejected. It’s a funny feeling to see memes about a wonderful sister or brother, pass right by it, but then remember, “Oh yeah, I have one somewhere”. The sad moment is when you do remember, but there’s no real family feeling that comes up anymore.
Some days I would actually wonder if I did something so horrible, that I forgot about it. Did I do something to them that shattered their lives? Did I say or do something so offensive that made them turn their backs and walk away? If you’re like me, you might have these feelings surface every now and then, and now that the holidays are right around the corner, we’re bracing ourselves and holding on to our heart.
How We Survived
If you’re like me, you actually did nothing wrong. You went after your dreams. You did most of the things that you wanted to do. You stood for goodness. Sometimes, these simple things mess with those we grew up with by making their anger surface and thank goodness it’s not our fault. Because you took the risk to go after your dreams, your true self was released. Since you actually did most of the things you talked about doing, your accomplishments were met but seen by them. While you stood for goodness, your light was so bright, it drew them back into the darkness where they hide.
With the help of wonderful healers like Matt Kahn, Kyle Cease, Joyce Meyers, and Wayne Dyer, I learned that people, whether they’re family or friends, will react by not supporting our circumstances because they don’t have the guts to go after their own. Since they hesitate to take the steps that are calling them, they try to sabotage ours. Due to their own upset, the only thing they can think to do is grab at our vibration and try to pull it down to theirs instead of reaching out and saying, “Can you help me reach mine?”
How We Understand
The heartfelt saying “there are friends and family, yet the true blessing is when these friends become your family”, helps when the sadness creeps into mind. Being abandoned is not the hardest part. It’s having them lash out with horrible statements made that hurt our heart most. As you may bleed on the inside through the rough times, remind yourself that it is their doing.
If they have lashed out hurtful words and acted ridiculous through actions towards you that would make anyone hesitate to catch their breath, make amends to yourself with different forms of forgiveness. Through different online courses and YouTube videos, I have learned that meditation, tapping, and viewing their true intensity in my life helps release those harsh memories on a path of forgiveness.
At times, I have had a small voice inside me say, “You should call or simply send a thoughtful text.” If you have these same ideas, do what your heart wants, but be sure to put yourself first by reviewing these simple questions: What has their past actions shown me? Do they continue to ignore me when I reach out? How will this serve me? Do they bring light into my space or do I let them go since they no longer serve me?
Sometimes I feel the results of us reaching out and being ignored is to remind us that all we have is each moment, right now. The past is over; tomorrow isn’t here yet, so all we have is right now. If the sad feeling comes up, it’s a reminder that we need to love ourselves. As the pain enters, remind yourself that you are loved.
How We Release the Pain
Remember that we don’t take everyone along on our journey. Some are here for a reason and a season. Some people cling onto control of another simply because they are too afraid to let go and live their own life. If people can’t support you and want to take control to feel something, simply remind yourself to let go of those things that no longer serve you.
Releasing your pain will take time with meditation, tapping, and praying. But good news, you will feel the pain release slowly but surely, and you will feel less intense. Give yourself time to practice these to the point that the intensity reaches an all time low. Time is key, so do your best every day and watch the pain dissolve.
In addition, stop the search for knowing why. The reason why people lash out with hurtful words is most likely because they are unhappy. Hurt people hurt other people. If you feel stuck about what to do for them, simple be still and offer them a prayer of hope. Send them love, good thoughts, and wish them well. Enjoy the peace that you bring into your life with these simple strategies and continue to shine your light for those who need to find their way out of their darkness.
